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October 16, 2006

Please Get Your Knives Out Soon (Before we all go crazy.)

In two days, a killer night: the finale of Project Runway AND the first episode of Top Chef 2.

WHO will it be? I think everyone pretty much knows who I want to win, so I won't go any further there. But there has got to be a reason only one of them is smiling. Right?

Anyway. On to Top Chef. Most of the contestant videos are up on BravoTV.com and here are my pre-vision predictions.

Ilan D. Hall. Anyone with a weird name and a funny haircut stands a chance to make it about half way even if they kind of suck. He's a bit young though. Favorite ethnic food is CHINESE? Wrong answer, go to the back of the line, I take it back about what I said about names and haircuts.

Sam Talbot. Kind of a dork but cute and has a lot of experience. Solid, like Harold. Also hates salmon and I hate salmon too! So he's got that going for him, for me, at least (besides the cute part even.) A contender.

Marissa Churchill. A pastry chef. Unless every possible stroke of good luck hits her, she has absolutely no fucking chance making it to the top three. She could, I guess, be one of those uber anal pastry chefs who never party and therefore, won't show up for a challenge hungover, whereby she could win with a pastry wrapped oyster with a passion fruit glaze. Still, I predict she won't make it past five or six challenges.

Otto Borsich. This guy will either make it all the way or will get booted within two episodes. He is half Italian and half Hungarian (that is quite a volatile combo) and his favorite food is PORK. Gotta love a guy who knows himself. He has a ton of experience and will either be a really great guy or a total dickhead. We shall see.

Cliff Crooks. Snore. That's all I have to say. He might get pretty far because he is so boring that no one will even notice him or his dishes, thereby never being on the top or at the bottom. Congratulations, you have made it to the next level, because no one noticed you.

Suyai Steinhauer. Love her! Want her to go to the top three out of sheer coolness. She's funny and hot and used to be a vegan but now she eats meat. She loves eating with her hands. I love her.

Michael Midgley. Homeboy is a line cook in Lodi, California, the heart of Nowheresville. He wears flip flops from Walmart and loves Big Macs. He doesn't have a chance in hell. I give him three episodes unless, like Miss Pastry Chef, he gets handed some serious luck.

Mia Gaines-Alt. Oh wait a second. I was in error when I said Lodi was the heart of Nowheresville. Actually, OAKDALE, where this chick is from, is the heart. Lodi is like, the spleen or something. I don't know which one is worse, the heart or the spleen, when referring to a place in this manner. Anyway, she at least has her own place so she might get a little farther, even though her clientele are "cowboys."

Josie Smith-Malave. I foresee her saying "multicultural" too much. Loves sandwiches and also, condiments. She's really loud and looks kind of scary so I think she has a good chance.

Marcel Vigneron. He doesn't seem too creative but says he has an experimental palate and likes exotic ingredients. Also likes collard greens? And sour gummy candy? Hmm... he may have the name/haircut thing on his side. But then pops off stuff like "Bell Peppers are over-utilized." Really? Where? At Round Table Pizza? The Greek place down the street? Ah, the young.

Elia Aboumrad. Another crazy name, but she has tons of experience in France and now in Las Vegas. Plus she is Lebanese but grew up in Mexico and I doubt she will throw around the word "multicultural" too much. From the first impression standpoint she seems a very strong contender, and she is only 23! I don't see her showing up with too many hangovers, but I also don't see her being a bitch about everyone else's.

Emily Sprissler. She hates mayonnaise. She pronounces Gyro "jie roe." She will eat bad tiramisu. She doesn't stand a chance.

Frank Terzoli. He's from San Diego, and I'd like to support the home-town boy, but... Well. He does have experience, but he hangs out at karaoke bars. His favorite food is ravioli, which is a plus. His explanation of Italy, not such a plus. But whatever, I'll root for him just because he is from San Diego, even if he is sort of a dork.

Betty Fraser. She has her own restaurant and she makes "California Comfort Food." Sounds good to me. Has never been to Europe, wants to go to Barcelona to eat tapas. Homegirl, give me a call and I'll tell you some better places to get tapas. She is the "Dave" of this season, but with a really short skirt. I foresee a soggy nacho or two for sure, but I think she has a chance to squeeze in to the top despite her goofball star earrings.

Carlos Fernandez. HE'S been to El Bulli. HE has his own restaurant. HE is a good looking dude. HE is this season's Harold. HE will make it pretty far.

Also, I think there will be a Tripe challenge. That's it for now.

Posted by Shannon at October 16, 2006 6:51 PM
Posted to Random moments of (fill in the blank)

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