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March 6, 2004
Lawyer seeks naked ladies
So, tonight, I tended the wine bar that I sometime tend when the owners need me to tend it. I don't work there, I just fill in on occasion. It is fun - there are lots of regulars, everyone knows me. I'd do it more except it is thirty minutes from my house.
Anyway. Tonight, it being the full moon and all, it is a bit of a weird night. People are hushed and subdued but you have the feeling they could any minute start screaming "get down, get down" at you. If I was a customer, I probably would have drank double. But since I was working (and driving) I only drank.
Towards the end of the night, after one of my co-helpertenders cut his finger on a broken wineglass and had to go to the hospital, a group of regulars come in. I know three out of five - a really sweet couple that loves jazz and a lawyer guy who was once fixed up with a friend of mine. Lawyer Guy had a date, and there was another, very quiet guy there too who I come to know as "the guy who once dated Elizabeth." What does this have to do with travel, or anything? You are asking. Nothing. This has to do with Lawyer Guy and my book.
The wine bar has a couple of copies of my book laying around. Of course I show it to people whenever possible. Especially in that setting - talking to strangers and semi-acquaintances, you need something to talk about. Somehow a copy found its way into the hands of Lawyer Guy.
Lawyer Guy: You wrote this?
Me: Yes.
Lawyer Guy (with furrowed brow): There's something wrong with it!
Me: What!
Lawyer Guy: There aren't any pictures! You need some pictures of naked ladies in here!
Me: Uh, OK, whatever.
Lawyer Guy: Hey. I've been to Rome, and I know about all those sculptures and stuff.
Me: Yeah - but this is a food book.
Lawyer Guy: You need some pictures of naked ladies in here!
Somehow this conversation gets even worse, with me comparing Bernini to Baywatch, the idealization of the human form, blah blah blah (for at least twenty seconds.)
Lawyer Guy then moved on to Elizabeth, how the quiet guy should never have let her go. Lawyer guy would have had her, but she was not Jewish, or a blond with really big tits. (His date is getting understandably pissed off by now.) Then his conversation switched back to Rome. He spent seven days there once, and he now nows everything about Rome. He insisted he'd seen every possible thing to see in Rome. But clearly, not enough naked ladies!
Posted by Shannon at March 6, 2004 12:28 AM
Posted to How do we all stay grounded when the world is spinning so fast?